Saturday, September 23, 2017

Dante's in Heaven?!?

Disclaimer: If you have never read my blog post from February 2016, you might want to check it out before continuing as I will be building off from that.

Man, this really pains me. I actually have to talk about Dante Alighieri once again, and I am not sure if I am happy that I have the chance to roast him one more time or if I am sad because I have to pretend that he is not chilling in the seventh circle of Hell to place him somewhere in Heaven. We shall find out.

We need to talk about Heaven really quickly before we assign our best friend Dante a sphere to reside in for eternity – theoretically, of course, since he is in a river of boiling blood. Paradise portrays Heaven as ten spheres that correspond to the celestial beings known in Dante’s time. The ten spheres along with what they represent are as follows: The Moon (faith – imperfect), Mercury (hope – imperfect), Venus (love – imperfect), the Sun (prudence), Mars (fortitude), Jupiter (justice), Saturn (temperance), the Fixed Stars, the Primum Mobile, and the Empyrean. Each sphere houses different beings in accordance to their life on earth.

So where would Dante Alighieri be placed if he was placed in heaven? Before I designate a sphere for him, I want to make it clear that I am not God, and it will be Him who determines our place in Heaven. I am just guessing where he would be designated if he wasn’t boiling. Okay? Let’s go.

Right off of the bat we can eliminate the ninth sphere of Heaven: Primum Mobile. This is the sphere that moves other eight (27.115-117) and houses the angels (28.97-105). Dante is not an angel – far from it – and I cannot justify placing him here. That’s it, really.

The Moon is terminated as well. This sphere hosts the souls of those who neglected their vows (3.55-57). Some of those who broke their vows did so willingly while others were forced to. Dante is not a nun who broke a vow to God by being forcefully married to someone against their will. He will not be sharing a sphere with Piccarda, Constance of Sicily, or the other nuns who apparently did not put up much of a fight. 

The next sphere we are going to eliminate is the fourth circle. The Sun is the dwelling place of the wise (10.109-114). In my opinion, Dante was not the wisest man during his lifetime. He obsessed over a woman he had met when he was a child, played the politics game with a bad hand, was exiled from Florence, and wrote the Divine Comedy instead of doing something productive. I am going to spare Thomas Aquinas from having to reside in the same sphere as Dante.

Another sphere we will cross off of the list is the fifth sphere known as Mars. This is the circle where those who gave up their lives for Christ chill (14.97-129). If you did not know this about our new best friend, Dante was exiled from his native city of Florence. He stayed with several different patrons in various Italian courts. He did not die a martyr’s death, and I feel that it would be unfair to allow him to spend eternity in this sphere – even if his ancestor Cacciaguida is there (15.133-135).

Jupiter, the sixth sphere, is the next to be eliminated. This circle plays host to the kings and figures of authority that ruled justly during their lifetime (18.115-117). Dante was not one who really had much power, and it would seem strange to place him here. He held various offices but he did not accomplish much as a politician. It is because of this that Dante will not hang out with the pagans Trajan (20.43-45) and Ripheus the Trojan (20.67-69).

The next two spheres we are going to remove are the seventh and eighth spheres, Saturn and the Fixed Stars, respectively. Saturn is the sphere of the contemplatives (21.106-119), and since Dante was not a monk who devoted his life primarily to prayer he will not be placed here. The sphere of the Fixed Stars houses the saints and the Virgin Mary (23.124-139). Dante is not a saint nor is he a virgin woman which excludes him from this sphere.

I was tempted to place Dante in the second sphere of Heaven: Mercury. Here reside the brave spirits “who live their lives that fame/ and honor might succeed them when they die” (6.113-114). These people cared more about their desire for fame than the glory of God. When I first read Paradise I made a mental note that Dante could fit in the sphere nicely. His actions throughout his life could be portrayed as seeking glory, but I ultimately decided against putting Dante here. There is a sphere that is even more perfect for him.

The sphere I have chosen for Dante is the third sphere Venus. This is the sphere where those who were too ardent in their fleshly love reside (8.122-148). The reason I decided to put our friend here is because of Beatrice herself. The smoking hot babe who guides our hero through Heaven is Dante’s obsession. He barely knew Beatrice and was in love with her – even obsessing over her whilst married to someone else. Honestly, I think it is fitting that this would be the sphere Dante would chill in if he was not already hanging out in the seventh circle of Hell.

The second sphere we are also going to place our buddy in is the tenth sphere: Empyrean. This is the abode of God. It is here that all of Heaven revealed to be a river of flashing light (30.61) as well as a celestial rose that encompasses all of the souls of the faithful (30.112-117). Dante would be in this sphere along with every other soul who was granted entrance into Heaven.

While it did pain me to write a paper where Dante receives a place in Heaven, I can at least be at peace knowing that all of this was speculative for the sake of receiving a grade and that Dante is actually in the seventh circle of Hell. He is in a river of boiling blood, and if he tries to lessen his punishment by rising out of the river, he will be shot with an arrow by a centaur (Inferno 121.73-75).

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